hello everybody! this is jack from tofluency.com, and we are back with another conversation that is going to help you learn real english. now, today we're going to talk about valentineâ´s day and romance. yeah! valentine's day and romance because we are filming this february. now, be sure to check out the description because
i'll leave a list of the different phrases and vocabulary that we use in this lesson, and we're going to try to speak at more or less our normal speed and this will give you great listening practice. so, valentine's day can you tell everyone what valentine's day is? valentine's day is february 14 of every year. it's a holiday which is supposed to
celebrate romantic love, so the love between two partners, and it's a holiday where there's sometimes a lot of pressure to do things in a certain way but it can also be quite fun, and as we were talking about it, we realized that we had a lot of memories of valentine's day from growing up what it was like to celebrate this holiday, which is really a
romantic holiday in school - when you're child. yeah, and we had some good memories and some bad memories. i think we're only going to share the good memories, and one of the big things is, on valentine's day, one of the main that people do is to send and receive cards, so let's talk about that - how you did that school in america. yes! absolutely, and so basically the
whole valentine's day celebration was everybody would buy or make cards for everybody in their class, and usually attach a little piece of candy, so... oh, candy as well... it came with candy. of course! usually, the most popular ones were hershey kisses and conversation hearts. so both of these are types of chocolate? no! well, hersheys
hershes is, you know what a conversation heart is? oh, we call that something else. is it one of those little round candy, like, sweet things with some kind of message on it... yes! what did we call call these? i'll leave this in the description. it's gonna... i can't remember but, yeah, we used to have these as well... absolutely, and they would say a little message like: 'fax me'
which really dates... fax me? send me a fax! now it would be 'send me a snap'. yeah, it's probably like email me or instagram me. i don't know if it would fit in a little tiny candy... i'm sure they would fit in. so, you would attach those to the card and send them to one person, two people, ten? the rule was really everybody in the class. really? we didn't
have that rule. well, that was when we were younger. and then, as you get older, and it's less typical to give people valentine's unless you are in a romantic relationship with them. or you like someone, right? yeah, or you like them. i don't remember sending valentine's day cards to everyone in the class, but i do
remember you would send a card to one person, basically, and you would put from your secret admirer. really? yeah! so the idea is that you don't tell people who the card is from. right! a lot of times, though, they would guess who it is, based on your handwriting, i remember... because what
you'd do is you'd give the card to a friend to give it to them or you'd put in their locker, you'd put on their desk so they that they don't know who it is, but you could always write your name, some people did write their name too. so jack... be honest, how many secret admirer valentine's cards did you send? i used to send one... one every year.
one every year? i think so... sometimes, i was in, you know, "relationship" when i was 12 or 13, so i would send a card to that person obviously. but other than that it was, yes, sometimes i didn't send them. sometimes you didn't but most years you did? i think most years i did. and how often did you sign your name and how often were you a
secret admirer? i can't remember. i remember receiving cards from secret admirers... plural, but i don't remember sending cards, sending, you know, "from your secret admirer" ever? never? i can't really remember doing it. so, you only gave one special girl a card every year? i think so. and you signed your name?
yeah! because i was in a relationship do you think that there was a, because i remember, especially once you got a little bit older, there there was a lot of pressure to be in a relationship for valentine's day. we didn't have that. i'm pretty sure we didn't have that. and it was nothing additional. i don't remember going on, like a date, around
valentine's day or making a big deal (our of it) maybe we had presents too... i just can't remember, but, yeah, i know in america though, dating is big, and this is something that we didn't really understand growing up, watching american tv, and it's what we learned from watching things like friends and dawson's creek that dating is big. what is a typical thing
that people do for a date on valentine's day? well, it depends, ovbviously, on whether you're 12 or you're in your forties and anywhere in between. let's talk about... let's talk about, you know, adults.... adults? okay, probably going to a nice restaurant. that's typical... so, what you would consider to be kind of a fancy meal,
where you dress up... we have our baby here, by the way, you may hear her. she's very excited about us having this conversation. she's trying to join in. sorry, to a restaurant... hi emma! you go to a restaurant - probably the most stereotypical romantic cuisines are french cuisine. french, yeah. maybe
italian, and you would have a fancy meal with your loved one. right! and i imagine things are... it's very difficult to get into restaurants on valentine's day... absolutely! i think you have plan in advance. yeah! book in advance, planning in advance, and you know, take initiative and say: "okay, we're going to go to this restaurant. we're gonna book it in early
january. we're going to go on valentine's day... i think it's different once you get married, but i know during the dating stage there's a lot of pressure on the male in the relationship, if it's a male-female relationship to book the restaurant and get the flowers. yeah, it's a lot of pressure.
a lot of pressure, but yet feel like it's generally not the men who care as much about valentine's day. typically not... yeah... but they... yeah, i feel like they've got the pressure to do it and the woman expects something. generally, you know now... traditionally jewelry, chocolates, perfume. i wouldn't get perfume. yeah, it's a little personal but i mean
i think that people do get it. i think chocolate is always safe for me in case you're wondering. i always love chocolate and of course, jewelry... by the way, i'm just kidding, there is no presure on jack. no pressure at all. i don't feel any pressure. i've got a question, though, about dating and relationships. if you say you're
dating someone, are you in a relationship? that's a good question. i feel like there's... you're dating someone in general, you're in a relationship when you have that conversation where you say that you want to be exclusive... so you won't date other people. ok so when you... you can go on a first date with somebody...
and then if you go on a second and third day, that's when you would start having a conversation about: ok are we in a relationship? yes! and i know like with us, we were... i.. we can't explain it. we were traveling around the world, but we did have that conversation (we did), and after that, we
were in a relationship. we were in a long-distance relationship because we weren't in the same place, so we actually started in a long-distance relationship and i feel we you know spend time together in the same city, it's kind of interesting... but we met each other in person which is not always the case now. well that's it because things have changed. in the past, let's go back 20
years, you would have to approach somebody and ask them the question directly, either, meeting someone at a bar, meeting someone through a friend, at a party, but now obviously online dating is a big thing. i think online dating is the way people meet their their husbands and wives now. definitely... it's a huge change. it really is.
it's just, erm, changed the way that people date and start relationships. have you ever online dated? i have online dated. when it wasn't very popular or common, i think it was in 2005, 2005-2006. i used to... well, i put my profile up there and you know contacted people, went on a few dates, you know. it was fun. what information about your
profile? so, if i had been looking on your online profile, what would i see? you would see a very young version of me with information about the music that i like. i was really into music back then. i think i talked about that... what bands did you put on your profile? bob dylan, new young, artic monkeys... they're they three that i always remember... and then, erm, i
think it there was like different questions that you could ask and answer. and i can't, really, sorry, i can't remember what i had on that to be honest. "you can't remember:" i... i choose not to remember choose not to remember... but based on your music profile, i think i would have wanted to go on a date with you. well, i think music is one of the big things that people ask about first, you know,
what kind of music do you like? but, yeah, online dating.. it was fun, it worked, you know, it was okay. i met some people but obviously i didn't get into any relationships from it. and then i went travelling and, then, i met kate so, yeah. i want to talk about a date nights because a lot of people are thinking about having a date night for valentine's day and what some are
typical date nights in america? we're back with emma! kate, you were just saying date night! date night, and what kind of things that people do when they go on a date. let's just talk about someone who is in a relationship or someone who is married... what kind of things do people like to do? i think that probably
some of the most popular things to do are to go see entertainment, whether that's a movie in the cinema or a live band... right! so, to go to a live show, to go to the cinema, the theatre, maybe... or to go out for a meal yeah, they're the two main things really. or bowling? that's an old style date... that's an old style date
which is, it was very popular, i guess in the eighties, is that right, seventies, eighties... to go bowling i think about greece. is it greece one that they go bowling? i'm trying to remember - one of the greases they do go bowling. yeah, anyway, that's what i have in my head when i'm thinking about, you know, going
bowling. so is that your ideal date? bowling? no. what is your ideal date? my ideal date, i think it would be - what i really liked about spain was when you could just go to a few bars and get a little something to eat and a little tiny bit of wine and go somewhere else and you experience different atmospheres and it feels like you're
going on an adventure instead of going to one place and just sitting down for a big meal, i like to be out and about and to go to small bars, to stand up, to go outside, you know, because then it feels like you've got some movement there, and you can talk about different things, you know. that's what i enjoy doing. we have talked about doing that here
yes! but we have just never got around to it not for a long time... well since we've had children, really, to go bar-hopping as it's called or you know, restaurant hopping. yes, it's really fun to do that, i fell. what about yourself? what my ideal date is? i think (with me!)... obviously,
first of all, you are the main ingredient in my ideal date. i think so. yes, you are. it would be... probably to go somewhere outside if we're considering this as a long date so maybe to go on a hike or something like that and then to just get a really casual meal and maybe see some live music yeah, live music i think that's fun. to go to a concert
so, you've got that sense of going to a couple of places and movement too. i just feel like if you're sitting down at the same restaurant for 2 or 3 hours it can get a little bit boring and, you know, it's good to have like different experiences and move around a lot or just delicious i like going to restaurants too but i think
that when we think about, you know, what's the the perfect date, that's more you want to do something a little bit more exciting. sometimes, we are restricted for time so we have to, you know, "okay, we've got an hour and a half - go to the restaurant" you know, order quickly absolutely, especially, with an infant yeah - i thought i could end with some
love idioms that we can share, we can have a quick conversation about each one. i've got three. the first one is soulmate. do you believe in soul mates? i would say that i didn't believe in soulmates but then i know this is going to sound so cheesy but you kind of made me believe in soulmates because we just connected so immediately
and it was such a coincidence that we even met. we were from different continents. we weren't even supposed to be in the same place at the same time and we were and we met and we've made a life out of that. that's a great answer. do you believe in soulmates? not really i know i'm sorry i haven't really thought too much about it and you know
and really got into depth with it but i'm, i feel it's more like: there a certain amount of people that you're compatible with ok and if you meet that person then you have to take advantage of it, you know, and make it work. do you believe in the phrase: "opposites attract"? yes, i think i do do you think we were opposites? in some
ways, i mean, yeah there's a big difference... different countries and, there are some things. and the idea of a soulmate is that one person only one person. actually when just after i met you and you didn't meet this guy - a guy called paul who stayed at the same hostel as us. he was a mathematician and he takled
about - he worked out that there's i think it was 1 in 100,000 women who would be suitable for him. wow! and that he would have to meet so many people and go to specific places to increase the odds of meeting one of those people. he got married recently. was he the kind of person that would have a lot of
i don't know, requirements to be.... he was very picky? well, yes, from what i remember. yeah really nice guy, though. i've got another one. to have a crush on someone - can you explain what that means? to have a crush on someone. that's a good one. to have a crush on someone is to like them romantically yeah but a lot of times it's a secret crush. and it's before you really
get into it, you can't say i have a crush on getting my wife or my husband. it's like when you're not in a relationship with someone and you know... you like them so we always used to say: like someone like but when you say it in a certain way like ... you like someone. and you can also say: do you like like that person? yes we used to say that too! do you like like them
or just like them? so, to like like someone means you have a crush on someone. i really like that, and then the final one. to go on a blind date. oh, yeah. what can you explain what that means? so a blind date is when you meet someone to go on a date and you have never seen them before in your life.
so, it's somebody that a friend of a friend has set you up with or maybe you met them online and you don't know kind of what they look like you've never met them in person and so that's a blind date. i've never ever been on a blind date. i have never been on a blind date. good, i feel like a good question to ask everyone is, the soul
mate question... do you want to ask it? i want you to ask the questions in these videos. i know, i like asking you questions, i feel like you have to answer me too when the camera's on. okay! so, do you believe in soulmates? that there is just one person out there who is meant to be for you? it is a great question and feel free to expand on your answer and
let us know if you have any questions about the words and phrases we used here. we've got a lot of things here, you know to send cards, to get cards, secret admirers, to go on a date, date night - didn't talk about needing a babysitter... soulmates, have a crush on someone and to go on a blind. and once again i'll leave the vocabulary in
the description so you can read this and learn the words and phrases that we both used in this conversation. so, thank you very much for watching and we'll see you in the next lesson. thank you! happy valentine's day! happy valentine's day! bye bye!
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